THE WEAKEST LINK!
by Link
Summary: well, it is what the title says, Weakest Link. But it's a pun, get it, Weakest Link, cuz it's ZELDA! PG-13.... eh, it's a stretch, mild language, not much. yeah so it's weakest link zelda, got it?
1. Um... Chapter One.

Sup my homeboys, welcome to

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dunn dunnn dunnnnnnn! Haa, get it, Weakest LINK?? You know cuz he's link, ahhaah, sorry. Wait, what kind of an intro is that? Ah well. I cant think of anything, I have no idea what this story is and where it's gonna go, so most likely it will suck. Be warned.

Link (me Link, I know there are so many Links in this story, its gonna get confusing, but oh well. If it's link all by itself, it's me. Got that? Oh, and me being the author.)

Link: well, to start this off, I guess it's gonna be a gameshow, I HAVE NOT THOUGHT THIS OUT ENOUGH! Ok, well, we'll introduce the characters. First off: Adult Link!

Adult Link: Um, hi, I'm adult Link from Ocarina of Time, and I wana kick some ass. I'm playing for the ear peircing shop in Hyrule Market they can pierce when you are asleep for 7 years. Now that is service!

Link: Next up Young Link!

Young Link: Hi, I'm Young Link, aka Little Link, from Ocarina also. And I'm playing for the midget foundation.

Link: After him, we have Majora's Mask Link, who is bigger than Young Link but smaller than Adult Link. He will be known as Medium Link.

Medium Link: Medium Link? What the hell? What kind of a name is that??

Link: Want me to give you hard questions?

Medium Link: No, no, no, I loove Medium Link! And I'm playing for The Institution to Help Nintendo Make Better Ending Credits, also known as TITHNMBEC.

Link: Procceding is Darmani, or Goron Link!

Darmani: Well, after I got over that fact that I'm in my own fic that's better than Mikau's

Mikau: No it's not.

Darmani: Yes it is.

Mikau: NO, IT'S NOT!

Link: HEY! Settle down.

Darmani: Thank you. After I got over that fact that I'm in a fic by myself

Mikau: That sucks

Link: That's it, Mikau, your getting the hard questions.

Mikau: Shit

Darmani: After I got over THAT, I decided that I could come over here and play, and I'm here only to have fun and get filthy rich and to crush my opponents and to kill Mikau

Link: Get on with it.

Darmani: I'm not done yet

Link: *drawing Biggoron's sword* I said get on with it!

Darmani: *gulps* Um, and I'm playing for Mickey's Furnace Store. Actually, it was thanks to him that the snow melted.

Medium Link: *Starts to debate, but then realizes Link has his sword out* Um yeah, it was that

Link: Ok, if I am being to dull, please give me sugar now or forever hold your um bag of sugar Now, our next one

Deku Scru: Hi, I'm the nameless Deku Scrub, and I may be small, weak, pethetic, stupid

Darmani: You forgot to say angst.

Deku Scrub: Well, yeah, I'm sorta angst, I guess, but, anyway, I'm playing for the dry cleaners seriously, my hat is too big, I'm gonna have to shrink it.

Link: That's nice. Next up.

Mikau: Um, hi there *twenty thousand Indigo-go fans rush up to Mikay and hold out paper and pen for his autograph* Hehe, it's ok, I'm used to it well I'm Mikau, all star of the Indigo-gos

Fan: Yeah, Lulu's a total bitch.

Another fan: Hey, Mikau likes Lulu, didn't you read that story where he and Lulu

Mikau: THAT'S ENOUGH! Ok, you can leave now.

Fans: Aaaaaaw

Mikau: Autographs after the show.

Fans: YAY!!!

Mikau: And I'm playing for the New Zeland swim team. I mean, they kick ass.

Link: Wish I had some fans like that ahem. Who's next?

Feirce Deity: Greetings. I am the Feirce Diety. Oppose my power, or comment on the misspelling of my name, and you will suffer. You will die. I will hunt you down and kill you myself, for I am the Fierce Diety

Deku Scrub: Liiiiiink, he's threating to kill ussss.

Link: Shush, this is fun to write.

Fierce Deity: For the next hour, you will see and feel the utter powers of my god-like sword. Object, and you will die. I will dominate this arena, and destroy you all, or be my slaves for eternity! Oh, yeah, playing for some cancer fund, I guess.

Link: Hey, man, I'm giving you easy questions. All authors out there, I highly suggest you write a Feirce Diety fic, yeah, that's a good idea anyway, here's our last contestant

Giant Link (with the giant mask on): HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOO

Link: That's not fun to write. Talk normal.

Giant Link: Sorry. I am Giant Link from Majora's Mask. I got this sweet mask on. Hehe, this is fun with all this power. K, well, I could easily kill Feirce Deity here

Feirce Diety: No, you couldn't

Giant Link: Yeah, whatever, um and I'm playing for Microsoft. I'm counting on them to build the first shrinking machine.

Link: Very well. Now for a commercial brake. C ya round!


	2. Let the games begin!

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Chapter Two: Let the Games Begin!

Link: Welcome back, folks, to the Weakest Link. Now, we will start the game. Well, not now. Gotta explain the rules. Unlike the TV show, there is no timer, instead everyone is asked 2 question in a round. And since I'm too lazy to calculate the bank, the winner will receive 1 million rupees.

Deku: Sweet mother!

Link: Yes, Deku boy, that is a lot of moolah. Um, that's all, so, lets start.. The Weakest Link!

Dun dun dun dunnnnn!

Link: Adult Link, how many swords are there in Majora's Mask?

Adult Link: Umm, Kokiri, Razor, Gildid, um, 3!

Link: HAHA, YOU SUCK, THERE ARE 4, YOU FORGOT THE GREAT FAIRIES SWORD!

Adult Link: Hmm, didn't get that far yet

Link: You haven't? Whoa, you suck.

Adult Link: 

Link: Young Link, how much does a fish cost?

Young Link: Never bought one, just got them for free 50?

Link: No, 200 rupees, correct me if I'm wrong

Young Link: No, sir

Link: Exccelent. Medium Link, what is the name of the first Ocarina you get in Ocarina of Time?

Medium Link: Fairy Ocarina.

Link: Very good! Darmani, what insturment does Japas play in the Indigo-gos?

Mikau: Oh, I know!

Link: I didn't ask you.

Darmani: Oh it looks like a guitar! Yeah, it's a guitar.

Link: You stupid idiot, he plays the bass, dumbass.

Darmani: Hey, we don't get good radio reception in the mountians

*Everyone looks at him*

Darmani: Ok, ok, I don't listen to the radio

Link: Next up, Deku boy

Deku: Oh, that's me right?

Link: v.v No, it's Feirce Diety.

Deku: Oh, ok.

Link: Dumbass, it's you! K, um, what is the name of the guy in who looks through the telescope all day?

Deku: Oh, um, I dunno.

Link: I don't know either, but it's something like Shikiritzagiro. If you know his name and say it in the review, you get to be in my next deathmatch story. Man, yall getting these questions wrong! K, Mikau's turn Mikau, Mikau I believe I said I'd give you hard questions, no? Hmm oh, I'll have fun with you what is the 12th digit of pi?

Mikau: WHAT??

Link: You heard me clearly. What is the 12th digit of pi?

Mikau: You can't do that! That's not a Zelda question! No one knows that!

Link: Ok, I'll change it.

Mikau: Whew!

Link: What is the 32nd digit of pi?

Mikau: Oh, thanks, that helps um, 5?

Link: O.O

Mikau: What?

Link: I don't belive it

Mikau: WHAT???

Link: You got it right

Mikau: I did? SWEET!

Link: That's impossible you cheated it can't be

Mikau: I GOT IT RIGHT! I GOT IT RIGHT!

Link: SILENCE!!! Next question is for the Feirce Diety.

Feirce Diety: Greetings.

Link: I have to give you an easy one what is the name of Princess Zelda?

Medium Link: What? Hey, just because he's fun to write

Link: Shut up! Continuing

Feirce Diety: It is pitiful that people, you scums, get money just for being smart. If everyone was smart, would we be a rich land? Only by intellegence does our lives be based upon?

Deku: Just answer the damn question.

Feirce Diety: Oh, um I dunno, Serah.

Link: Oh my god

Adult Link: How the

Goron: He didn't 

Giant Link: What? I didn't hear.

Link: I-I-I-Iiiiiiiiihhhhhhhaaaaauuuggghh!!!! IT'S INCORRECT!!! AUUGHGHHHH! Nooo!!!

Feirce Diety: Hmm, whatever.

Link: I-I-I can't believe how could you YOU MORON!

Feirce Diety: What did you call me?

Link: Nothing, nothing um, God, um, Giant Link? Hey, um, in the Temple, um, with the, um, yeah, how many?

Giant Link: 16 and a half.

Link: Sure, whatever, correct, um, k

Suddenly Link is knocked out and falls to the ground. Instead, Ganon hops from the audience and onto the podium.

Ganon: He can't ask questions for a while now, so, I'm here instead! Ok, Mr. Adult Link!

Adult Link: Sup.

Mario: Um, hi, what is the name of the middle stage of the boss of Majora's Mask?

Adult Link: Didn't get that far, either, but, I know the answer.

Medium Link: How do you know the answer if you're not there yet?

Adult Link: Um, I just do

Member from the audience: He uses a stradegy guide!

Everyone gasps and looks at Adult Link.

Adult Link: Ok, ok, I do.

Mikau: A stradegy guide!

Darmani: And he looked ahead!

Adult Link: And the answer is Majora's Incarnation.

Ganon: That's pretty sad there, Link, but oh well. It's right. Young Link, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Young Link: O.O

Ganon: Just kidding, haha. What is the name of the school for Deku Scrubs in Majora's Mask?

Young Link: I'll just go for the obvious answer Deku Elementry?

Ganon: Very good, young lad! Majora's Mask Link

Majora's Mask Link: You called m by my good name! I love you Ganon!

Ganon: That's it, hard question, I'm not into lovey stuff like that.

Majora's Mask Link: I hate your ass you mother f**k!

Ganon: That's more like it! How many megabites is Majora's Mask?

Majora's Mask Link: Uhhhh, average 256, I think

Ganon: Right on! How many more we got?

Mikau: 5, sir.

Ganon: Very well. Right on to Darmani! True or false? I–

Darmani: True.

Ganon: I haven't asked the question yet.

Darmani: Oh. I'm sorry.

Ganon: True or False? Is there a Majora's Mask Internet Browser?

Darmani: What's that?

Ganon: Um do you play on computers?

Darmani: What?

Ganon: Ok, you don't know, but the answer is true. I'll have to mark you wrong for that one.

Darmani: Aw

Ganon: Little Deku Scrub Man, is Tael a male or female fairy?

Deku: Oh, umm I know this uh oh! He's Tatl's brother!

Ganon: You didn't answer.

Deku: Yes I did, I said *sigh* he's a boy.

Ganon: Very good! Wow, everyone's got it right so far this round! Except for Darmani, of course. Will that change? Mikau!

Mikau: What??? Oh, um, sorry, I was distracted.

Ganon: By what?

Mikau: v.v nothing.

Ganon: Her name is Angela and her phone number is 555-8213.

Mikau: Oh, thank's man, you're the best! How did you know that was what I was thinking?

Ganon: Time for the question!

Mikau: You didn't answer my question. How did you know–

Ganon: How many sages are there in Ocarina of Time?

Mikau: Ok, ok, um, let's see Saria, Daruina

Darmani: I'm not a sage!

Mikau: I said Daurina hmm, you threw me off, ok, Ruto, Impa, and Nabooru, and Raru that's 6.

Ganon: Incorrect, there are 7, Princess Zelda is also a sage.

Mikau: Shit.

Ganon: Language! Sorry, folks, let's try that again.

Mikau: Sh*t.

Ganon: Much better! Now, the Deity.

Ferice Diety: It's the Feirce Diety, and if you ever call me by what is not my proper name, you shall feel thy wrath

Ganon: Sure, whatever you say, so, apperently, you're not all that bright.

Ferice Diety: The remenents of my past strains shall take vengange upon you, and---

Ganon: I'm sure they will. True or False? Whatever Zelda says is true.

Princess Zelda: *from nowhere* Whatever Ganon says is false.

Ganon: Who is correct?

Ferice Diety: That question is irrelevant. I shall no longer put up with this. DARK MYST ATTACK, NOW!!!!

Nothing happens.

Ganon: Heh heh, I'm sure you are very powerful, but, now is not the time. Was that your final answer? Yes it was, and that is incorrect.

Feirce Diety: No! The wrath of injustice and cruelty shall fall upon you! You shall suffer anxiety generation throught generation!

Ganon: Cut the bull, we need to finish this round.

Everyone in the building: OOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!! HE DOGGED YOU!!!!!!!!!

Ganon: Moving on, to Mr. Biggie here. If you put on any mask and enter Sakon's hideout, and while controlling Kaife switch masks with the Giant Mask, and then regain control of Link, what will happen?

Giant Link: Link will try to grow, but the game will freeze. And if you try it with the Feirce Diety's mask, it will work, and you can wonder Terimina with him, which is pretty cool.

Ganon: Ooh, a bonus answer! Very good, I like those. Now, it is time to vote who you think it THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunnn!

Ganon: I always wanted to say that. Technically, Darmani and the Feirce Diety are the Weakest Links, and Majora's Mask Link and Giant Link are the strongest. I mean, Giant Link IS the strongest Link, but not always in the mind. Well, he was in this round ok, I'll shut up. NOW VOTE!

Adult Link: Feirce Diety.

Young Link: Feirce Diety.

Majora's Mask Link: Feirce Diety.

Darmani: Um *Medium Link walks over and whispers in his ear.* Oh, ok. Feirce Diety.

Deku: Feirce Diety.

Mikau: Feirce Diety.

Feirce Diety: I choose that cursed zora!

Giant Link: Feirce Diety.

Ganon: Well, its more or less unanimus, minus one, but, for obvious reasons, so I won't ask why yall did what yall did. Feirce Diety: You are the Weakest Link Goodbye!

Feirce Diety: ARRGHHH! CURSED BE YOU AND YOUR DECENDANTS! I SHALL COME BACK! I WILL KILL YOU ALL! AUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

Two security gaurds named Steve (yes, both of them) walked out and take the Feirce Diety by the arms and throw him out of the building.

Ganon: Commercial brake time. C yalls later!


	3. First Ganon, now Zelda... by now you'd W...

Weakest link chapter three and stuff like that

All right im tired so don't expect anything good in this chapter. Hoopefully tommorow is a snow day so I can get some writing done, but you don't care, you just want the story, so here we go

Welcome to THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunnn!!!

*Nothing happens*( in case you didn't remember, Link ((that's me (((the host))))) is knocked out, so nothing happens)

Link: *finally getting up* ooh, my head. Ung, oh yeah, hey, where's the Feirce Diety??

Mikau: We voted him off.

Link: *Falls back down again*

Zelda: We're gonna need another host I'm here, guys!

Adult Link: Hi, honey!

Zelda: Hi, Link!

Majora's Mask Link: O.O What was that??

Adult Link: Oh, Zelda's my fiancee.

Everyone: WHAT???

Young Link: But I wanted to marry Saria!

Majora's Mask Link: I wanted to marry Romani!

Goron: Aw, shucks, female gorons don't exist

Deku Scrub: I wanted to marry the Deku Princess! *Everyone looks at him* What??

Mikau: I wanted to marry Lulu!

Giant Link: I'll just remain single

Zelda: Well, too bad, I'm marrying you all. And, by the way, most of the questions provided in this chapter are from uh that person who I forgot the name of. Well, anyway, the author forgot her name, but, thank her, not the author for these questions. Oh, and the contest to guess the telescope guy's name is still progress someone guessed it, but they didn't leave a signed review! UH OH!!! So, that doesn't count. Keep guessing! Well, time to start THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunn!

Zelda: Hmm. These questions are easy! Oh well. Here we go, baby! Sweetypumkin?

Adult Link: Yes, sugar buns?

Mikau: *gak*

Zelda: What is the name of your fairy?

Adult Link: Why, she's Navi, sugar bumkin!

Zelda: Yah! Very good!

Deku: Please vote me off please get me outta here

Zelda: K, now, Young Link, you better get used to that, because that will be you in 7 years.

Young Link: WHY???

Zelda: Because you get hot. Now, who gives you Epona?

Young Link: I get Epona? Cool. Um, doesn't Malon give

Zelda: Nope. Ingo will give you your horse in 7 years.

Young Link: Aww, I hate Ingo. His arms are hairy *shudders*

Zelda: Ok, Majora's Mask Link, how many days do you have to save the world.

Majora Link: You're joking? I have 3.

Zelda: Very good!

Majora Link: Ugh. You remind me of Anju's grandma.

Zelda: Who? Never mind. Darmani.

Darmani: I'm here.

Zelda: I see that. What Disney movie has a sorcceress named Zelda?

Darmani: Huh?? Uh. Sorceress Zelda's Magical Adventure Through Fairyland?

Zelda: Mmm, not quite. Swan Princess 3.

Darmani: WHAT?? Aw, shucks.

Zelda: Now, you cute little Deku Scrub ooh, he's so little and cute!

Deku: Call me that again, and I'll uh blow a bubble at you. HEY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M THE WEAKEST CHARACTER! I'M JUST A KID MADE OUT OF WOOD, OK? CUT ME SOME SLACK! *he falls on the ground and starts weeping.*

Zelda: Aww, I'm sorry! Here's your question. Who is the first "person" you meet in Ocarina of Time?

Deku: I DON'T KNOW!!! I DON'T KNOW!!!!!

Zelda: Aww, well, it's Navi. The next question is for Mikau. Heey, you're kinda sexy

Adult Link: ZELDA!!

Zelda: Sorry.

Mikau: It's ok. I'm used to it.

Zelda: Hehe well hmm in the Spirit Temple in OoT, what color gauntlets do you get, gold or silver?

Mikau: Uh geez I dunno, gold?

Zelda: Weelll, it's wrong, but you tried so hard, I'm marking you as right.

Adult Link: ZELDA!! WHA–BU–YOU CAN'T DO THAT??

Zelda: Hmm, maybe not, but, anyway, Giant Link's turn! Hey, biggie, wow, you sure have big muscles

Adult Link: That's it. The wedding's off.

Zelda: Hmm, I'm sure

Giant Link: Don't look at me like that.

Zelda: *Staring dreamily into space* Mmm yeah whatever *.* oh, right , your question! How many skullutalas must you defeat in Ocarina of Time to free the first brother?

Giant Link: Umm well in Majora's Mask there are 30 in the first place, I think so, um, 30?

Zelda: Well, big boy, you got that wrong. I'm sorry, but only ten.

Giant Link: Heaven help me. Get this woman off the stage.

Zelda: You're so cute the way you talk! He he! Now, time for snoogum woogum.

Adult Link: You don't have the right to call me that anymore.

Zelda: Tee hee, I'm sure. What is the name of the Zora king?

Adult Link: He's Jabu Jabu, and if you don't give me harder questions, I swear

Zelda: Whatever you say, honeymuffin. Now, Little Link, what mask do you give the guard who is guarding Death Mountain?

Young Link: These are way to easy. It's the Keaton Mask.

Zelda: Why, yes, little boy!

Young Link: SOMEBODY PLEASE KILL ME!

Zelda: Aww, how sad. Now, Majora Link, what kind of dreams do I have?

Majora Link: Little bunny rabbits hopping around eating their other little bunny rabbit friends.

Zelda: Nooo, I have prophetic dreams!

Majora Link: Close enough.

Zelda: Now, Mr. Big Goron

Darmani: NO! I am Darmani! Not Biggoron! Not Daurina! DARMANI! And don't try to hit on me, or else I'll pound you to death.

Zelda: Hee hee, I bet you could easily pound people Well, what populaur game show has the name of the main character of all the Zelda games in the title?

Darmani: DUH!

Zelda: Nope, it's the Weakest Link! Sorry!

Darmani: Wha–bu–(joke provided by. That author person anyway, it's not mine.)

Zelda: Now, cute little Deku boy

Deku Scrub: MY NAME IS oh, wait, I don't have a name

Zelda: What race is Ganondorf?

Deku Scrub: 

Everyone else: 

Deku Scrub: 

Zelda: 

Deku Scrub: guy?

Zelda: Um, no, he's gerudo. Now, Mikau heh heh

Adult Link: *draws Biggoron's Sword*

Zelda: Um, yes, sorry, what is the Child Protection Agency Talon informs about Ingo?

Mikau: O.O Child protection agency

Zelda: That's right

Mikau: o.O uhh well, Kakariko is a town in OoT, so, The Kakariko Child Protection Service?

Zelda: Wow, you're so smart

Mikau: I got it right?? How how did that happen?

Zelda: I knew you could do it, Mikau! Now, Mr. Giant, what was the name of Mikau's band almost going to be named?

Giant Link: Well, back when I was in the Japanese version of the game, the band was called (I'm not going to make up a Japanese word, don't want to offend anyone, and since I don't know the Japanaese name, I'll just leave it blank) ________, and, transalated, that means Blue Swamp!

Zelda: Ooh, you're so good. Well, it's voting time! We'll see who is

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunnnnn!

Zelda: Technically speaking, Darmani and the Deku are the weakest Links. Adult Link and Mikau are the strongest. Who will it be??

Adult Link: Mikau.

Young Link: Darmani.

Majora Link: Giant Link.

Darmani: Young Link.

Deku Scrub: Adult Link.

Mikau: Medium Link.

Giant Link: I vote for Princess Zelda.

Zelda: Hey! You can't do that!

Giant Link: Watch me. *Draws out Great Fairy's Sword.* Eat this, Princess Asshole.

*1 minute later*

Everyone: Hooray for Giant Link!

Adult Link: Yeah, I never really liked her.

Princess Ruto: *from the audience* Then will you marry me??

Adult Link: Eew. No chance in hell. Don't be gross.

Ruto: WHY?????

Adult Link: Now, Giant Link, being that you just killed that bitchy host, you get to pick who gets voted off, since you are now so superior.

Giant Link: Oh, hmm, well, let's see let's just kick off Darmani. He's stupid.

Darmai: Shucks.

Giant Link: Darmani, you are

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Giant Link: Well, folks, that ends this round. Don't forget, tell us who the telescope dude is AND EITHER LEAVE YOUR E-MAIL OR MAKE A SIGNED REVIEW!! If you win, you get to be in the authors next Deathmatch story! So long, leprechaun!


	4. The author wakes up, falls back asleep a...

hte sloppeits typp3ed str5y evr

Tis THE WEAKEST LKINK!

Dun dun dun dunnn!

*author wakes up*

Link: Ahhh, what a nice slumber that was! Now I'm all full of energy! EHEHEHEHEH!

*everyone ducks*

Link: LoL, j/k, wnathpbidhme.

Young Link: Whaaaat?

Link: Laugh out loud, just kidding, well, not about the hyper part, but I do have more energy.

Young Link: Riiiiight.

Link: Plus, I'm drinking a Pepsi right now.

Mikau: You like Pepsi?

Link: Eeew. No. But it's the only thing in the house.

COKE KICKS.

Well, let's get started!

Oh, wait, Zelda, what a stupid idiot, the author's name was Kimi! The author with the questions! Kimi! Kimi the uh oh, crap well, she's Kimi. Now, that that's settled, let's begin!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Link: Adult Link, what is the name of the mayor of Clock Town?

Adult Link: Ooh, I've met the mayor before! Mayor mayor oh, whatshisface

Link: WRONG!

Adult Link: DUTOUR!

Link: Too late! You answered Whatshisface.

Adult Link: 

Link: Young Link, what mask must be worn to help the mayor in the Bombers Notebook?

Young Link: *starts to say something like, "Oh, shisnicks," but then decides not to.* CCouple's Mask!

Link: Right on! Medium Link, what does the mayor give you after helping him?

Medium Link: My name is *Link glares at him* Medium Link, you're right. And I get a piece of heart.

Link: Yeaah, that was easy. Now, I see Darmi is eleminated, so on to Deku Boy. After crossing all of the bridges in the Kokiri Forest and talking to that freaky looking girl, what does she give you?

Deku Scrub: My cousin lives in the Kokiri forest, and I went there once, and I saw some bridges and I tried to walk up to them, but Mido beat me over the head with a Deku Stick, so I couldn't find out. But, they looked fairly easy to cross, so the reward couldn't have been that big I'm guessing cash. How about 20 rupees?

Link: Looks like Mido beat some knowledge into you.

Deku Scrub: I got it right?

Link: No! It was 5 rupees. Now, onto Mikau.

Mikau: Damn.

Link: Hehe. What is the equation to measure the area of a circle?

Mikau: Pi times r squared.

Link: ARRRRRGH! I knew it wasn't hard enough, I knew it, I knew it, I KNEW IT!! Uh what does R stand for?

Mikau: It stands for radius! You must square the radius, and then multiply the product by pi!

Link: Ok, the diameter is 6. What is the area?

Mikau: Let's see the radius is half of the diameter, so 6 dividedd by 2 is 3. 3 squared is 9. 9 times 3.14 is hmm 28.26.

Link: *is still typing this in on his calculator* Uhh. Umm nope, you're wrong.

Mikau: Whaaat? Lemme see that.

Link: No.

Mikau: *does boomerand fins and retrieves the calculator. The numbers read 28.26. Mikau holds up the calculator for everyone too see.* SEE? I WAS RIGHT! THE NUMBERS READ 28.26!

Audience: Oooh!

Link: *Looking around* Uh uhh uhhhh. A heh-heh-heh

Link runs too the door. Two security guards block his path. One picks him up by his tunic. Link, knowing Tang Soo Do, kicks the guard in the groin, and he drops Link. The other guard punches Link in the stomach, and he falls to the ground, knocked out.

Mikau: Aw, man, we're going to need ANOTHER host.

*Everyone looks at Majora's Mask*

Majora: Hey, don't look at me, I'm just a mask.

*There is a long pause as everyone waits for someone to volunteer.

Anju: Ok, this is just stupid. *She walks to the center* Allright, I guess I'm doing this. Ok, I guess Giant Link is up next what is your question? Ah, here it is. What is Anju, the dead sexy inkeeper Hey! Who wrote these questions?

Weakest Link Director: Link, thr author, writes them.

Anju: Ooh, he'll be glad he's asleep. I'M MARRIED TO KAFEI, YOU STUPID MORON!!! God, what a jerk. Ok, we'll just skip that one. Next one K, how many rupees must you deposit in the West Clock Town Bank so you can get a piece of heart?

Giant Link: How am I supposed to know?

Anju: I dunno, it's your game.

Giant Link: But not my level! I've only been to Twinmold's arena

Anju: Ok, so we'll count it wrong

Giant Link: No! I'm a good guesser. Um 1000.

Anju: *mumbling* I wish. No, Mr. Giant Link, I do believe you must deposit 5,000 rupees in the bank before getting the piece of heart. Onto Adult Link

Adult Link: *winks* Hey. Howzit going?

Anju: *Looks up from her card.* I heard you haven't beaten Majora's Mask yet. If you did, you wouldn't know that I am married to Kafei.

Medium Link: Thanks to me.

Anju: Right. Now, which sister in Konume and which is Kotake?

Adult Link: Ooh, I never get this one well, it's 50/50 Konume is fire and Kotake is ice?

Anju: Well, the author didn't write an answer, probably because he didn't know it himself, but I do believe you are correct.

Adult Link: Sweeeeet.

Anju: So, Young Link, in Majora's Mask, what is the name of the mask that makes you and adult when you wear?

Young Link: Zora Mask?

Anju: Although that is correct, the question does not include transformation masks. I'm sorry. Guess again.

Young Link: Well the postman is an adult, so, the Postman's Hat? Because you can't be a kid and a postman

Anju: I'm sorry, the answer is Romani's Mask.

Young Link: The cow one?? How the hell does that make you an adult?

Anju: Don't ask me, I am not Shigeru Miyamoto.

Majora's Mask Link: Who??

Anju: Ah, good question! Who is Shegiru Miyamoto?

Majora's Mask Link: Is that my question?

Anju: Yep.

Majora's Mask Link: Why did you just give me the question when you know I don't know the answer?

Anju: Because we are running out of question ideas.

Majora's Mask Link: But didn't Kimi send in all of those questions?

Anju: Yes, but the author is at his dad's house where he is typing this story, and the questions are at him mom's house. So, infact, all of the questions on this chapter are made by the author. Kimi, sorry, but the questions will be used next time.

Majora's Mask Link: Ok, ok. Shegiru Miyamoto well, you said, "don't ask me, I'm not Shegiru Miyamoto." So that means that he would know this stuff for one reason or another. And how would he know it? Did he create the games?

Anju: Right-o! Not only is Miyamoto the creator of Zelda, but he also made Mario, Yoshi, DK, and that horrible disaster known as Pikmin. Deku

Deku Scrub: YOU!

Anju: Me?

Deku Scrub: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO GO TELL MY MOM THAT YOU WERE BOOKED AT THE STOCK POT INN! YOU TREATED ME LIKE A CHILD! I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE THAT! DO I LOOK LIKE A CHILD TO YOU??

Anju: Well yes.

Deku Scrub: Touche.

Anju: Anyways which great fairy grants you magic power at the beginning of the game?

Deku Scrub: Duh! The Great Fairy of Magic! Do I look like a child oh, wait, we already went throught this

Anju: Well, you're correct, that was a no-brainer. Now, Mikau hmm, he wrote down a really hard question for you

Mikau: No problem, I'm smarter than he is.

Anju: Allright what is the square root of 3945?

Mikau: *Pulls out the calculator he stole from Ben* Hey, if he can do it, I can do it

Deku Scrub: But he couldn't do it

Mikau: Silence. Ok 62.2809234.

Anju: He didn't write down an answer on this one, either I'm assuming he just would mark you wrong anyway.

Mikau: Well, it's right, here, take a look. *He tosses the calculator to Anju*

Anju: Yeah, he's right.

Mikau: Strongest Link! Again!

Anju: Ok Giant Link, what color are the fairies in the Goron Temple?

Giant Link: I dunno red?

Anju: No, they are green. Go figure. Well, that ends the round! It's time to vote for The Weakest Link!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Anju: Technically, Giant Link is the Strongest Link, but the status say that he's the weakest. Mikau and Medium Link are the Strongest. Who will be voted off?

Adult Link: Giant Link.

Young Link: Giant Link.

Majora Link: Mikau.

Deku Scrub: Young Link.

Mikau: Majora Link.

Giant Link: Adult Link.

Anju: The results are in! Now, Young Link, why do you want Giant Link?

Young Link: Cuz he hasn't been anywhere and doesn't know diddlysquat.

Anju: Giant Link, I'm sorry, but you are the Weakest Link goodbye!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Anju: Man, why do you always pick the big people? You know, they're gonna beat you all up after the show.

Deku Scrub: Gulp.

Anju: Well, that ends the round! Please read and review, flames accepted, but we need good reasons for flames! AND WHO IS THE TELESCOPE OBSERVER?? The contest is still on! Cmon, guys, this is pitiful! The answers are in the review! And you get to become good friends with the author (if you're cool) and get to be in his next deathmatch story, which will be written after this, he PROMISISES. And no hyper reviews, PLEASE! And no stupid reviews! And no advertising! And. And GOODBYE!


	5. No fic is complete without a Jerry Sprin...

If you like amoeba's, then you'll like my website! http://www.oberlin.k12.oh.us/prospect/jmemmott/reports2002/amoebaproteus/index.htm so check it out. Oh, sorry, welcome to

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Dun dun dun dunnnnn!

Ok, what's the condition of the author now? Oh, right, the security guard incident well, he wakes up.

Link: *Shakes his head and goes, "ungh, ungh ungh."*

Medium Link: Hey, that's my line!

Link: Whoop-dee f*ckin' doo!

Deku: Ooh, my ears!

Link: Cmon, it's not like you've never cursed before. K, Anju, get up, it's my turn for host.

Anju: Ok, but..

Link: But what?

Anju: *holds up the card with the question that describes Anju as the "dead sexy inkeeper," if you recall the last chapter.*

Link: Ooh, that, heh heh I wasn't going to read those words"

KA-PLOWIE! (Guess what just happened.)

Anju: I'M MARRIED TO KAIFE!

Mikau: He's out AGAIN??

Anju: I'm not hosting again. How about my hubby, Kaife?

Kaife: Shrugs. Oops, wait, no, it's supposed to be *shrugs*.

Anju: Why did you just say shrugs?

Kaife: No, I didn't mean to, I forgot to put the stars in.

Anju: What stars?

Kaife: The askteriks, the. Nevermind. Let's just start.

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Kaife: Allright, Adult Link, what mask do I wear when I'm cursed?

Adult Link: Hmm I know it's a mask from Ocarina, cuz I've seen it around, but I don't know what it's called you know, because only the kids can get the masks

Majora Link: You can get the mask in Majora's, too.

Adult Link: Oh, you can?? I haven't gotten that far yet

Deku: *Slaps himself on the forhead*

Adult Link: Wellll then, let's see Great Fairies Mask?

Kaife: Great Fairies Mask? How is this the Great Fairies Mask? The Great Fairies Mask is this ugly person with a pale, pale, face, and looks like a monkey.

Adult Link: So

Kaife: You're wrong

Adult Link: Ah.

Kaife: No, I wear the Keatons Mask. Next up, Young Link. What is different about the Zelda game for GCN?

Young Link: Well, Nintendo Power, the dumbest magazine on the planet, was all "hush hush" about Zelda GCN. But, I logged on to IGN.com and snuck in some screenshots.

Deku: You did? What is it like?

Young Link: Dumbest thing on the planet. It's so stupid. Highly dissapointing. It's another one of those idiodic Gamecube games, like Pikmin and Super Monkey Balls.

Kaife: ENOUGH ALREADY! Answer the question, for god's sake.

Young Link: Oh, right. It's cartoon style.

Everyone: WHAT??

Young Link: Yep. Looks like looney toons.

Mikau: Shit.

Kaife: Better believe it, folks. The kid's right. Now, on the Gamecube demo, Majora Link, they had a movie of Zelda for GCN, so people would see what the Gamecube would be like, since this is before Gamecube is released. And, of course, they completely changed the style to this cartoony crap. But, before the cartoons, Link was fighting someone in the demo. Who was he fighting?

Majora Link: I have not the faintest idea what you're talking about.

Kaife: Just naqme me a monster.

Majora Link: Ok, a Lizardfols?

Kaife: No, he was fighting Ganon. Sorry. Deku Scrub, what kind of sheild did Link have in the demo?

Deku Scrub: Who pays attention to this stuff? Anyhoo, since Ganon is in Ocarina of Time, this must be and Ocarina of time game, not Majora. So, it would make sense for him to have an Ocarina of Time sheild I'm guessing the Hylian Sheild, since Ganon had a sword, and the Mirror Sheild in OoT can't block normal attacks very well.

Kaife: Close, but Link was using the Hero's Sheild from Majora's Mask. Mikau, what sword was he using?

Mikau: Whoa, that easy of a question?

Kaife: I'm not using the author's questions.

Mikau: Ah, figures. Well, I saw the demo, and I'm pretty sure it was the Master Sword.

Kaife: Right-o. Ten thousand points.

Mikau: Really?

Kaife: No. Next question, for Adult Link. What is inaccurate about Cremia's clothes?

Adult Link: Who??

Kaife: Not even that far yet. I knew it.

Adult Link: No, I'm a good guesser!

Young Link: Last time that was said, the question was wrong.

Adult Link: Shaddup. Um. Ummummummummummmmm She wears no blouse!

Cremia: *Stants up from audience* YOU WISH, YOU PERVERT!!

Adult Link: Hey it was a guess! I haven't gotten to your ranch yet, cuz you're too lazy to move the f*ckin' boulder!

Kaife: Calm down, people

Audience: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Cremia: You f*ckin @$$ b*tch, I'm gonna kick your mother f*ckin' @$$ so hard

Adult Link: Yeah? Yeah?? Cmon, try me, b*tch!

Cremia: You know, I'm glad I haven't met you yet, you f*ckin whore!

Adult Link: Oh, you did not just call me *Rolls up his sleeves*

Cremia: Oh, you wana fight, huh? Well, bring it on, mother f*cking cock sucker!

*5 mintues later*

Kaife: Wow, I never knew that the jugular vein was strong enough to support someone's head alone! Well, anyway, you did answer that wrong. Cremia has a TriForce symbol on her belt, but there is no TriForce in Terimina. Now, Young Link, I believe it is your turn again.

Young Link: *wiping the vomit from his mouth* Yeah, I'm listining.

Kaife: Ok, give me two names that Tatl was going to be named.

Young Link: Ooh, I know this one is Bell, and the other one something to do with Chicken Patties Trail!

Kaife: Wow, I'm impressed. But what does Trail have to do with Chicken Patties? Ugh never mind, I don't want to know so, Majora Link, what was Tael going to be named?

Majora Link: Ooh, something to do with beef patties

Kaife: You kids just scare me.

Deku: You were a kid for a while.

Kaife: No! NO!! Kids body, not a kid! I was not transformed into a kid, I just got a kid's body, I still had the mind of a

Majora Link: Chat!

Kaife: Yes, that's correct Moving onto Deku Scrub boy hmm, we haven't had an Ocarina question for a while but we haven't had any Links Awakening questions yet!

Deku Scrub: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Kaife: Yessss now, what must be given to the goat lady in the Animal Village?

Deku Scrub: Goat Lady? Animal Village? Whaaaaat?

Kaife: Gimme an answer.

Deku: Uh a flower?

Kaife: How did you

Deku: How did I

Kaife: get it

Deku: get it

Kaife: right?

Deku: Right??? SAH-WEEET!

Kaife: Interesting um, Mikau, what must be collected in order to receive the level 2 sword in Links Awakening?

Mikau: Aah, Links Awakening, a classic Gameboy game in which you had to wake the Windfish, I believe? Aah, haven't played it in ages let's see level 2 sword don't you collect seashells?

Kaife: Not just any seashells, but secrect seashells.

Mikau: Do I still get it right?

Kaife: Well, since I'm so nice sure. K, it's voting time, and I am bored!

Dun dun dun dunnnnn!

Kaife: Let's look at the standings Adult, weak, Young and Mikau, strong. Vote away.

Adult Link: Deku Scrub.

Young Link: Adult Link.

Majora Link: Adult Link.

Deku Scrub: Young Link.

Mikau: Adult Link.

Kaife: Young Link, why did you pick Adult Link?

Young Link: I dunno. He's the Weakest Link. The weakest link is supposed to go, no? Plus, he uses a stadegy guide that's just _bad_.

Kaife: Well, Adult Link, you are the Weakest Link Goodbye!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

Ok WHO IS THE OBSERVER??? THIS IS JUST INSANE!!!!!! THE ANSWERS ARE THERE!!!!! IN THE REVIEW!!!! AT YOUR FINGERTIPS!!!! YOU LAZY PEOPLE!!!!! SIGNED REVIEW, FIND OBSERVER, WIN DEATHMATCH! Come on! I'm not even getting ANY feedback! Should I just stoop writing this story??? Come on, you know you're just too lazy to review!!! Anyhoo, you are all weakest links, goodbye.


	6. Author wakes up, madness resumes....

*oh god not a stupid commercial brake*

Hillybilly dude: Are you tiiired of those pesky Zerglings always attacking your base?

Some guy: Hey this isn't a starcraft fic,

Hillybilly: Woops my bad. Don't you hate it when your trying to give Ann some wool but then you drop it? No more, with the new

Guy: This isn't Harvest Moon either.

Hillybilly: uh, with the new Anklebiter

Guy: For god's sake, this is just stupid, and you spelled Hillbilly wrong.

Hillybilly: I aint to hillbilly im a hillybilly!

*End commercial. I'm sorry you had to see that.*

Ladies and even more ladies, welcome once again to

Line? OH YEAH

THE WEAKEST LINK!!

Dun dun dun dunnnnn!

Link: Ooh, man, Anju packs a powerful punch.. that's gonna hurt tomorrow

Mikau: I thought you were knocked out

Link: Whoops, my bad. *Wakes up* Ooh, man, Anju packs a powerful punch.that's gonna hurt tomorrow. Um, let's get down to buisness after these words. The contest for the observer man, we had so many responses, it was overwhelming! So many people came in with answers, but some were non signed, and others were wrong. But, we have a winner, and its Pi2! Wa hoo! She will be starring in my next deathmatch story as. Oops, it's a secret. And the answer was Professor Shigasi.

Medium Link: How did you know all of this if you were unconcious?

Link: Uh First question! Young Link, in Majora's Mask, there is this birdie birdie outside the entrance of Milk Road, what will it most likely steal from you?

Young Link: Wha??? Um, um, well, it has a lot of cash on it, so it must steal some *Medium Link does the "cut" sign.* your sword.

Link: And all by yourself, too! *mutters* I've got my eye on you, Medium Link. Oh, right, question. How do you get your sword back without going back in time?

Medium Link: Well, to tell you the truth, I'm not irresponsible and let the bird attack me, but, maybe I can make a guess, no? Probably you have to kill it.

Link: WRONG! You have to buy it back at the Curiosity Shop.

Medium Link: Oh, rightrightrightriiiiiiiiight.

Link: Deku Scrub! You're still in!

Deku: Miracously, yep.

Link: Fascinating. Weeeeeeell, let's see how about some more Link's Awakening questions! WA-HOO!

Deku Scrub squeak squek squeakeddy squeak (see Pi2's stories): NOOOOOOO!

Link: What you don't want Link's Awakening stories? Maybe Link to the Past?

Deku Scrub: uuuuuh, OOH, LINK'S AWAKENING, LINK'S AWAKENING, OOH HOW I LOVE LINK'S AWAKENING

Link: Good. Now, for your Links Awakening question: What Zelda game has a picture book that you can print out the pictures with using a Gameboy Printer?

Deku: Naw, Link's Adventure.

Link: WROOONG!

Deku: Hehe, just kidding, it's Link's Awakening.

Link: Too bad, you said Link's Adventure.

Deku: But I was kidding, I-I-I--

Link: Cut the Allen, get to the game. NEXT. Aha, Mikau Lombardi.

Mikau: My last name isn't

Link: App

Mikau: I don't

Link: Zippit!

Mikau: God, you so copied this from

Link: Ladies and gentlemen for the jury, exZIPIT A.

Mikau: Austin Powers.

Link: I have a big bag of Shh right here!

Mikau: 

Link: www.ZIPIT.org

Mikau: 

Link: Zip it! Ziip it!

Mikau: I'M NOT EVEN SAYING ANYTHING! JUST GIVE ME THE QUESTION!

Link: Question? Ooh, right, the QUESTION! Haha

Mikau: 

Link: What is the correct answer to Anju's Grandmother's quiz about the 4 giants?

Mikau: I dunno.

Link: You don't know? Ooh, that's too bad, we'll just have to mark it. Wrong. MU HAH HAAA HAAA HAHAHAAH!!

Mikau: You evil son of a

Link: Zip it!

Mikau: *rolls his eyes*

Link: Back to the young gentleman. The boss of Link's Awakening, like, the final boss, must be killed with a boomerang hit directly in his

Young Link: Eye.

Link: Don't finish my sentence!

Young Link: Wasn't that the question?

Link: Nooo. This is your question. When you put magic powder on those slimy blob things (There are 2 in the Mysterious Woods and they shock you if you hit them with your sword) what happens to them?

Young Link: *Shrugs* They die?

Link: No! They get glasses and then you can talk to them.

Young Link: Oooookay.

Link: Now to Medium Link. When you talk to the slimy blob things, they say stuff.

Medium Link: No shit, Sherlock.

Link: ha. One of the things they say is, "Hey ___."

Medium Link: Man?

Link: Mon.

Medium Link: Mon?

Link: Mon. Uuh, now for that Dekeddy Deeky Deku. In Links Awakening, how many rupees can you hold max?  


Deku: 500

Link: man, you guys SUCK. It's like you haven't even PLAYED Link's Awakening.

Everyone: We haven't.

Link: Ooh! All the more reason to ask Link's Awakening questions!! And the answer was 999 rupees. Pretty big change from the Ocarina and Majora max of 500, eh? Ok, Mikau There were rumors that Tarin from Link's Awakening really is who?

Mikau: Hmm if it was something Nintendo MEANT to put in the game, then it would have to be another Nintendo character, knowing what Nintendo is like. And, I'm guessing it would most likely be Mario.

Link: Stupid smart Zora.

Mikau: Stupid smart?

Link: I didn't say stupid smart, I was using stupid not litterally, but in the sense of dislike, but I was using the word smart litterally, so I was saying that I dislike your superior intellegence and way of figuring everything out on your own like a problem solver detective thingy dude.

Mikau: Oh thanks?

Link: Sure, whatever. Ok, Medium and Deku weak, Mikau and Young strong. Vote.

Dun dun dunnn dunnnnn!

Young Link: Eenie meenie, minie moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go. Eenie meenie minie moe. *lands on himself*

Link: Don't count yourslef, dumbass.

Young Link: Try again. Eenie meenie, minie moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers let him go. Eenie meenie minie moe. Uhh, Medium Link is pretty cool, so my mother tells me to pick the very best one and that is

Link: JUST PICK SOMEONE!!

Young Link: Aaah, aah, DEKU!

Medium Link: I was gonna pick Young Link, but he called me cool, so I return the favor by picking Deku myself.

Deku: I knew it wouldn't be good. Ummm, Medium Link, I guess.

Mikau: I'll just take the Deku.

Link: Deku Scrub you are the Weakest Link (literally) Goodbye!

Dun dun dun dunnnn!

*backstage interveiw*

Deku Scrub: I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna kill. Kill them all kill kill kill. All die pick me no don't pick me. Die. Kill gonna. Kill. *starts twitching*

Link: Anything else? Anything else? No. You've read it, might as well review it. K, later, peace out Pi2, GOODBYE!


	7. The themed round!

Ladies and Gentleman, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Linky!

Some campy 70's gameshow music plays, as the camera flys around the room, then showing Link's face.

Link: *Big grin, combed hair, suit.* Hi, once again, tooooooooooooooooooooo

THE WEAKEST LINK!

Link: I'm your host, Link Kokiri.

Young Link: Kokiri? I thought you were Hylian!

*laugh track*

Link: Haha, well, yes, but I was born and raised as a Kokiri.

*laugh track*

Link: And welcome to the themed round! We only have 3 contestants left, and so we thought we would do something a little more fuuuuuuuuuuuun today!

*clap track*

Link: Well, to start out, we have Young Link! Oh, yeah, and we are back to Kimi's questions. I haven't been using them for a while, for confidental reasons. Nothing personal

*laugh track*

Link: And now we are back! Ok, what is the name of Link's best friend who is also a sage?

Young Link: That's easy. It's Saria!

*dingdingdingding, clap tack*

Link: Veeeeery gooood! Now, for Medi. Oops, Majora's Mask Link!!

*laugh track*

Link: When surveyed, what tunic does Link look sexiest in?

Majora's Mask Link: Hmm, I don't know, because I'm not like that!

*laugh track*

Link: Hahahah, just answer the question, boy.

Majora's Mask Link: Hmm, I think it's red!

*dingdingdingding, clap track*

Link: RIIIIIIIIGHT!! Now, for Mikau!

Mikau: Does this theme include niceness and equality?

Link: Why, of course.

*Aaw track*

Link: In Oot, what are the first two weapons Link recieves?

Mikau: Why, the Kokiri Sword and the Deku aw, hell, I can't do this, it's the Kokiri Sword and Deku Sheild.

Link: Uh oh, are you breaking the happy campy theme?

*Ooh track*

Mikau: It's just stupid.

Link: Uh oh! That's a penalty! Hard questions for you!

Young Link and Majora Link: We're fed up with this, too.

Link: Yeah, to tell you the truth, I can' stand it. Back to normal. Ok, Young Link, what happenes to the ReDead when the Sun's Song is played by them?

Young Link: They freeze temporarily.

Link: Well, yeah. Whatever. Medium Link, what happens to the Kokiri when they live the forest?

Majora Link: They DIE.

Link: Yeaa, sure. Mikau, now, what kind of shirts to the Gerudos wear?

Mikau: O.O You call those shirts?

Link: Hey, these aren't my questions.

Mikau: Well, being around many girls of all different kinds, I believe that those shirts are tube tops.

Link: Not bad, not bad at all. Wow, that was fast. Vote n' die, now, cmon.

Medium Link: SATISTICS WHAT ARE THE SATISTICS??

Link: All perfect. All strong, all weak, all the same. All got all right.

Young Link: Coolio. Uh, Medium Link.

Medium Link: Mikau.

Mikau: Young Link.

Link: Aw, crap, now I have to vote.

Everyone: WHAAAAAAAAAAT? 

Link: Yeah, I do, and I don't like Young Link because he's not cell-shaded and his hair is too red and it sticks out in front and it's supposed to be on the side. Well, you just look screwed up in the game.

Young Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Well, back to the chambers of the Pequod. *Pulls out Moby Dick and starts reading with upmost interest. Weirdo.*

Link: Done. Short. Your mama. Two left, man! TWO LEFT! We'll see what happens NEXT! OH yeah, just finished "The Subtle Knife." Sweet book. Read the series. Kick ass books. So long for now.


	8. THE FINAL ROUND!

Laaaaaaaaaaadies and Gentlemen, welcome to the final round of

THE WEAKEST LINK!

*Thrilling Mortal-Kombatish song is played*

Link: Avast! It has all come down to this! This is where it ends, folks. The last bus stop on the run. The two surviving contestants are Medium Link and Mikau. Let's explain the rules. There will be a bunch of questions asked. The person or fish with the least wrong at the end of 5 questions wins 1 million rupees! 1 MILLION RUPEES!! Let's go! Medium Link, in OoT, what do you have to do to progress to Hyrule Field?

Medium Link: Kill Queen Ghoma.

Link: Right. Mikau, what do you get from the first sibling you set free from the Skulluwatawa curse in OoT?

Mikau: The Stone of Agony.

Link: Wrong, the 200 rupee wallet. Medium Link, what is the 200 rupee wallet called?

Medium Link: The Adult Wallet.

Link: Correct. Mikau, what is the 500 rupee wallet called?

Mikau: The Giant Wallet.

Link: Yes. Medium Link, what color is the rupee worth 50 rupees?

Medium Link: Purple.

Link: Yes. Mikau, what message is displayed when you win 5 rupees, not found.

Mikau: That's not too shabby

Link: Haha, cracks me up every time! Ok, Medium Link, in Super Smash Bros. Melee, what is Young Link's B move?

Medium Link: Bow.

Link: No, lucky Young Link gets the Fire Arrow. Mikau, in multi-player Super Smash Bros. Melee, what does the C-stick do?

Mikau: A smash attack.

Link: Right. Medium Link, the game depends on this question. Link has two stages in Super Smash Bros. Melee. One of them is a ruined Hylian Temple. The other takes place where?

Medium Link: *has one of those moments where he just can't remember something obvious.* Oh uh Woodfall Temple?

Link: No, Great Bay.

Medium Link: Arghh! I KNEW THAT!

Link: All right, Mikau. The final question of tonight's game. Get it wrong, we go into overtime. Getting it right, however will grant you $1,000,000.00. Are you ready?

Mikau: Yes, sir.

Link: Ok. The one item in the original Super Smash Bros that is from Zelda is what?

Mikau: The heart container.

Link: *Dramatic pause.* CORRECT, MIKAU, YOU HAVE JUST ONE 1 MILLION RUPEES!

Mikau: *jumps on the podium and raises his hands above his head as confetti and sprinkles shower over him. Many many babes run up to him and crowd him. There is a big fight about who gets his autograph first, with many bitchslaps and stuff. In the meantime, Mikau sneaks out of the quarrel to shake Link's hand and retrieve his prize a platnum rupee.*

Link: Thank you ladies and gentlemen! Don't forget to see my next fic Deathmatch Number One 2 starring Pi2!! Goodnight, New Zeland!


End file.
